mad and writing

so here today writing about my oh so boring life...soon to be 26  most people would say yay I'm coming liberty ...but i'm here standing saying meh....and got nothing going on for me well other than the fact I graduated as magna cum lauder but i'm not currently working on my mayor, wow shocker alba...everything is looking pretty steep in my life, to much drama oh and of course when things are looking terribly bad you can only rely on some people in my case 2 and a half  that only implying friends and mom, love life? well my past posts makes it very darn clear I am as solo as edgar allan poe or picassos ideas in their times, funniest part some people think i can't even read ...the thanks? thanks to me having a goofball personality, i guess if someone has a funny bones there exiled from having a brain , people assume you can't have all in edens garden clearly being funny without the cleverness and pretentiousness is not funny, so what the heck happened to just funny ?no labels?, do I have to hide, low self esteem much? nah ... the problem is being humble, thats my life and if you stand up for your self  the fact that its the unusual thing you're a complete bitch or nut job, no no actually your just stuck up because your now a professional hahahaha apparently no bueno having some cojones but i must admit people start to see some money an their pocket and start pointing some fingers, money seems to have a numbing effect ...have cash others are trash, looks like no one had money issues, then theres the 'intellectual people' those who was to ridicule you in public affair such as, social gathering and just about anywhere else these people have the necessity to make you feel like shit well no actually just about anyone, those the oh so hated and despised smartasses is like there life goal is to push you down and let them shine to me there as toxic to be near to and have the personality of a black hole the thing is no one likes them why we all hang out with one, come on you can't say you don't know at least one asshole, enough with them the black plague...back to me, all my life made fun of by my own family and other people, think i'm not smart enough to pick up a glimpse, subtle comment or body language messages in fact i do sadly that makes me want to push myself more into a corner, i wonder if he likes me this guy that says he does, is it bad to not want to ruin a friendship even if i like him back ?what if it doesn't work out ? been down that road of preferring a friend, talking about that I used to have this close friend he was so romantic and respectful  , i admired the man but i was not into him and told him many years later he now talks to me about cheating on his wife with me because intellectually internet talking or sexual stuff is not cheating , to him cheating is physical or emotional and says he and his wife that they can block the emotional things wtf dude, so if lets say your penis becomes erect by the things i tell you this becomes cheating because he already has a emotional attachment with me as a friend, is he stupid, he knows what kind of women i am so what is up with that? i'm not a ok with friend with benefits or open relationship girl but don't judge no one, thats just one friend about others of my life situations i will talk about some other boring day ...